The Best

Let's just call off the dogs and stop all the speculation once and for all. Michael Jordan is the best basketball player of all time. Period. There isn't even a close second. Kobe is a nice player with many similarities to Michael, but he won't ever be able to surpass Jordan because he won his first three rings as Shaq's sidekick. Also, Michael never had as many hiccups as a leader as Kobe has. LeBron proved in this year's NBA Finals that while he might be more gifted athletically, he has nowhere near the level of mental fortitude that Michael possessed. There's no need for any more arguing on the subject. I am not trying to say that my opinion matters more than other people's and that it is the definitive one. On the contrary, I am stating fact.

I don't want to bore you with numbers, but consider these as the irrefutable evidence.

6 NBA Championships as the featured player on his team
6 NBA Finals MVP Awards
5 Regular Season MVP Awards
14 Time All Star
10 Time Scoring Champion

I could go on, but why should I? Those credentials are more than enough. Let's also not forget that Mr. Jordan took a couple of years off to play baseball, so those numbers could actually be inflated. He might have had 8 rings and 7 MVP awards if he hadn't spent time as an outfielder. With all the talk about LeBron and his legacy, I just wanted to bring this up because the comparisons need to stop. Nothing LeBron does will get him anywhere near this level and it isn't fair to compare him to the best that ever played the game. Number one, with a bullet- Number 23.

I'm Glad...

I'm glad for many things, but here are a few that I am especially glad about at the current time.

I'm glad that my last name isn't Weiner, and that I'm not dumb enough to Tweet pictures of my man bulge to girls to whom I am not married. And I'm glad that I'm not dumb enough to deny it and then retract my denial.

I'm glad that I'm not graduating college right now. This is a tough job market for our 22 year olds. Hang in there, kids.

I'm glad Donald Trump isn't running for president. He would have just continued to piss me off.

I'm glad we got three free months of Starz from DirecTV when we moved and upgraded our service. Now I can watch Zombieland every day.

I'm glad my dog has a big backyard to play in.

I'm glad for the fact that John Edwards didn't end up as our president. His transgressions make Bill Clinton look like a monk.

I'm glad it's golf season. Maybe I'll recant this one after I play a few more rounds.

Top Ten Things I Love About NPR

For years I wrongly poo-pooed NPR as being radio for old people. Even though I am older now, I was wrong. NPR is a source of interesting, thought provoking and entertaining information that makes me feel more knowledgeable about and connected to the world around me. Here now are my Top Ten favorite things about NPR.

10. The Political Junkie- Every Wednesday Ken Rudin comes on Talk of the Nation and spews his vast knowledge of US politics for 35 minutes. It's very informative.

9. NPR.com- The website is chalk full of articles and audio clips from all the NPR contributors and programs.

8. Dori Anisman- The lady who answers the phones on The Diane Rehm Show- you my girl, Dori!

7. Frank Deford- Every Wednesday on Morning Edition, sports writer Frank DeFord gives a great 3-5 minute commentary on a pertinent sports topic. He's been doing this a long time, and it shows.

6. Salt Lake's local NPR stations- KUER and KCPW

5. Lakshmi Singh- She is easily one of my top three favorite Sikh reporters.

4. Science Friday- Ira Flato is a science master, and he sounds exactly like Alan Alda.

3. Diane Rehm's Friday News Roundup- A nice capper to the week that was. I always feel very smart and connected after both the international and domestic hours.

2. Ira Glass- Even though he isn't actually employed by NPR, his immensely popular show, This American Life, is featured on many NPR affiliates. He's coming to Salt Lake later this month, and I intend to see him.

1. RadioLab- I've already sung the praises of this show in an earlier post, but I don't care because it is that good.

Support for this blog entry came from NPR listeners, like you.

The Religious Dinner Table

I moved last weekend, so I've been a bit busy. Here now is an old entry from the first days of this blog. You probably haven't read it. If you have, just relax and I'll get some new material going in a few days.

When I taught World Religions, I used a metaphor to explain how I thought the conflicting religions of the world could possibly get over their centuries of acrimony. This is really not a new idea, but a nice dream. This class was right around lunchtime, and so many of the metaphors and references had to do with food, so bear with me.

Imagine a large circular dinner table, if you will, with no head- like Camelot's Round Table. At the table are the leaders of all the religions of the world. The Pope, the Dalai Lama, Bishops, Rabbis, Voodoo guys, the LDS President, there's even room for the Scientologists. Just don't send Tom Cruise because there are rules about jumping on the furniture.

Everyone is seated and comfortable, and lunch is about to be served. On the menu at the religious dinner table is Pizza. Why pizza? Well, for 2 reasons, one- as my uncle says it's like sex, when it's good it's great, and when it's bad it's still pretty good, And two- it is the one food that I have found most people can agree on.

That said, pizza can be difficult to agree on. I personally like a thin crust with pepperoni, olives and mushrooms. My wife likes Hawaiian. I hate Hawaiian and she hates pepperoni and olives, so how if we can't agree on pizza how will all the world's religious leaders? The Jews won't have Canadian Bacon, but might want a New York style, the Catholics will want meat and Chicago style, but not on Friday and the Vegan Pagans will want soy cheese and a gluten free crust. I smell more acrimony brewing.

Okay, well let's have them agree to disagree on toppings, sauces, cheeses, crust styles, etc. everyone gets their own personal pizza. How then, if each za is different does the metaphor work? I say focus not on the type of pizza, but on the fact that despite that some like the Hut and others Dominos, everyone can agree that pizza in some form is good, or at least acceptable.

Religion is the same as pizza. If my wife and I can have friends over and decide to eat pizza, but not get bogged down in the details, perhaps those in power can put aside some of their issues and agree on the basic concept of dough with some fixings, then perhaps they can go the next step to mending some of the oldest conflicts on the planet. Pizza is not called the perfect food for nothing, people.

Utah Jazz Musings

The NBA Draft Lottery was last night, and my team, the Utah Jazz, lucked out and got the 3rd pick. I was happy, because the last time they drafted that high they ended up with a guy named Deron Williams, who turned out to be a pretty good player- until they traded him. According to all the pundits and experts, this draft is thin and contains few NBA ready players. With that said I am hopeful that the Jazz can get a player that will help them get back on track soon.

The main candidates for  in the early going are Arizona forward Derrick Williams (another D-Will?) and Enes Kanter, a Turkish center who spent last year at Kentucky. The Jazz also have the 12th pick, and many here in Utah (not me) are hoping that they draft BYU scoring machine Jimmer Fredette. If they do, fine, but don't be shocked if he isn't putting up 30 points a game in the NBA. Some guys just don't have games that translate well to the NBA, and I fear that Jimmer is one of them. My hope is that the Jazz don't get sucked into the hype and instead pick the best player available. If it happens to be Jimmer, so be it. With all that said I am glad to see my team getting back on what appears to be the right track. It would be pretty hard for things to get much worse than how last season ended. Yikes, I hope I didn't just jinx us.

I Like You

As the karmic antithesis to my Schmohawk posts, I offer up some people that I wish to compliment and recognize for their awesomeness. Here now are three more people that I like.

DANNY McBRIDE

This guy is funny. Really funny. He has been in some sub par movies, but his performances never fail to make me laugh. His best work is as the writer and star of Eastbound And Down. As ex-pitcher turned P.E. teacher Kenny Powers, McBride is a wisdom spewing, mullet sporting, steroid taking party animal. It isn't often that an original character comes along these days, but McBride's Kenny Powers is one of them.

JAD ABUMRAD and ROBERT KRULWICH

These two are the masterminds behind radio's best show,WNYC's Radiolab. They are flat out changing the way radio is done with the way they play with sound. The show is built on science-based topics that are the brainchild of NPR's science reporter, Krulwich,  and then Abumrad edits the stories and layers them with effects and music to create an audio tapestry that is unlike anything else out there. I am hosting my own podcast and trying to emulate these two as much as I can because they are the new gold standard in public radio. Need more proof that they're good? They just won a Peabody Award.

Closure

There was a modicum of closure tonight as the death of Osama Bin Laden was announced. The man who was the mastermind of the 9/11 attacks is no more. To all our men and women who serve our country, I salute you, and to all those who lost loved ones on 9/11/2001, I am sorry for your loss. To President Obama, who gave the order to go ahead with the operation that eliminated an evil man, I thank you. 

The terror that Bin Laden unleashed was horrific and changed the world in a profound way. While his death cannot undo what was done, and nothing can bring back his victims, there is some closure tonight of a violent chapter in our nation's history. The unity that we felt as a country ten years ago was born of sorrow and anger. Let us hope that unity will once again sweep the nation in the face of a great accomplishment. I am proud of the U.S.A. tonight and moved by the scenes of people gathering in our cities. 

A great deal has happened in the last ten years, and I can say that for me, tonight marks a welcome bit of solace that I thought might never come. There will likely be violent repercussions for this act by our military, but perhaps America will have a renewed sense of pride and togetherness that can help end some of the bitterness we have felt of late and overcome the other obstacles that stand in our way. U.S.A! U.S.A.! U.S.A.!

Thoughts on the NBA Playoffs

I was admittedly sad when my team, the Jazz, didn't make it to the playoffs this year, but after what has happened in the first round I'm not that sad anymore. The 2011 Playoffs have been wildly entertaining, dramatic and surprising to watch. Even though no series went all seven games, the quality of play has been high and most of the games have come down to the wire. Let's recap a few of the highlights, shall we?

LAKERS/HORNETS
In the series I most hoped for an upset, Chris Paul reemerged as a true star, willing the seventh seeded Hornets to the brink of defeating the defending champs. Alas, for me and other Laker haters, it was not to be. However, there were great moments in this series like when Paul and his boys stole game one in L.A., or when my least favorite player, Pau Gasol all but vanished and Phil Jackson called the team 'punks.' I also loved the moment when Chris Paul took a shot to the eye, and kept playing despite looking like Rocky Balboa. This series was almost perfect, I say almost because Kobe and Co. are still alive, but after tangling with New Orleans they might not have enough juice to make it back to the Finals. Let's hope.

BULLS/PACERS
Derrick Rose is the MVP. That is what we can take away from this series. If he plays poorly, the Bulls don't look very good. Luckily, he played well enough to take out Indiana in 5 games. Four of the five were too close for comfort, and probably left everyone wondering if the league's new darlings have enough to get to the Finals. I don't think they do, especially since Carlos Boozer is doing his usual playoff disappearing act, and Tom Thibadou seems reluctant to use the best bench in the league. Perhaps this series was just a hiccup and the Bulls will right the ship. They better, because what I think is the hottest team in the playoffs, the Hawks, won't miss an opportunity in a close game like the Pacers did.

CELTICS/KNICKS
The oldest team that needed the most rest got it by sweeping the most overrated team in the playoffs. New York stunk and got roundly throttled by a team that looks hungry, complete and dangerous. Boston, despite their advanced age, is my pick out of the East because they play together and know the territory well. They will need every bit of the rest they earned against the Heat, led by those three guys.

SPURS/GRIZZLIES
We saw an era end when Memphis upset the number one seeded Spurs in six games. The series wasn't even that close as the younger, quicker, bigger and hungrier Grizzlies mauled the crap out of the aging former champs. It was kind of sad to see, but all things come to an end. Who knows what lies ahead for San Antonio? I know what lies ahead for Memphis, a date with Kevin Durant and the Thunder, who are my pick to come out of the West.

Here now are my picks for the rest of the way-

LAKERS over MAVERICKS in 6
THUNDER over GRIZZLIES in 5

CELTICS over HEAT in 6
BULLS over HAWKS in 6

CELTICS over BULLS in 6
THUNDER over LAKERS in 7

CELTICS over THUNDER in 6

A Country Half Full

All I've been hearing from news media the last few weeks is how bad things are and how little confidence people have in the government and President Obama. I must say that even though things haven't been going exactly swimmingly (the Japan nuclear disaster, Lybia, the economy), whining and being apathetic isn't going to accomplish anything. It bothers me that people are so quick to point fingers and throw in the towel. Our country deserves better from its leaders and citizens. I will be the first to admit that Obama hasn't been the force for positive change that he seemed to be in January 2009, but we have nobody to blame but ourselves for that one.

Before the guy had even done anything we filled our glass of optimism to the brim and never bothered to think about the fact that it wouldn't be easy to right all the wrongs of the previous administration and achieve every item in an ambitious agenda. Not to mention that a bunch of other crap came up while Obama was tackling the existing issues. The BP oil spill, various revolutions and this recent tragedy in Japan only heaped more to do items on America's painfully long list. Rather than being so defeatist and negative, the nation needs to regain perspective and think about how unfair we made the expectations. Not even a dream team of leaders like FDR, George Washington and Ronald Reagan could have met the lofty goals we set two years ago. The glass needs to be about half full now, not mostly empty, because that's where we are.

This will be a good test to see if people in this country can see things as they are, without panicking, without getting angry or complacent and with a guarded sense of optimism. I'm not saying the glass won't ever be full, and I'm not saying it will be full soon, what I am saying is that politicians and citizens need to be less ready to build up their leaders, only to tear them down a short time later. If we were in charge we'd kill for that kind of mentality from those that we serve.

Farewell, Captain Crunch

Captain Horatio Crunch, the World War II naval hero and cereal magnate died Thursday at Bethesda Naval Hospital. He was 98. A great commander who played a critical role in the defeat of Japan during World War II, Crunch retired from the navy in 1958 and made a fortune as the founder and mascot of the Cap’n Crunch Cereal brand.

Many expected Crunch to throw his trademark hat into the political ring upon his retirement, following in the footsteps of his dear friend Dwight Eisenhower, but he instead opted to take his sailboat The Guppy on a journey around the world with his wife Ramona Crunch. It was on that fateful trip in 1959 that Crunch came up with the idea for a cereal that would maintain its crunch when left in a bowl of milk for a prolonged period of time.

He immediately came back to his home in Lynchburg, Virginia and started working on his new cereal. His line of Cap’n Crunch cereals became a huge success, becoming the most popular children’s cereal from 1965-71. He was very active in the running of the business, appearing in commercials and donating a large portion of his profits to veterans’ causes.

Legal issues took a visible toll on the Captain in his later years, and he turned the business over to his son, Lt. Crunch. Several lawsuits from people who claimed that the cereal had cut the roof of their mouth, sustaining permanent damage threatened the Captain’s fortune. All of these were settled out of court for undisclosed amounts, but it had a profound effect on Crunch’s health and he was forced into a wheelchair.

Despite his failing health, Captain Crunch continued to appear in public to promote his cereal up until this last February when he choked on a crunch berry and needed to be hospitalized. Crunch will be buried at Arlington National Cemetery next to his close friend Colonel Sanders.

Some More Favorite Salt Lake Places

I have lived in Salt Lake City a long time, and know many of its restaurants, shops and speakeasies well. Here now are a few more of my favorite spots in my hometown.

THE DODO RESTAURANT

This place has been a staple in SLC since 1981. I know it well because I worked there for about five years while I was in college. Unlike other restaurants I have worked in, I never got sick of the food at The Dodo. It boasts a very diverse and unique menu, as well as the best desserts I have ever tasted. While the Toll House Pie is the most popular, I prefer the silky smooth Chocolate Almond Mousse Pie or the sinfully rich Peanut Butter Cream Cheese Pie. Also, let's not forget The Dodo's signature item- the Smoked Turkey Sandwich and House Salad. The sandwich comes with a side of barbeque dipping sauce that is good enough to drink by itself. MMMM boy, I could sure go for a turkey sandwich right now.

LAMB'S GRILL

The oldest restaurant in Salt Lake, Lamb's has one of the best and most affordable breakfasts I have ever eaten. The decor is very old fashioned, but has been kept up over the years, so that it looks the same as when I was a child. The long counter and dark wood booths are the perfect setting for a hearty, perfectly cooked meal that is served by a polite and experienced staff. I haven't ever gone there for lunch or dinner, but if they are anything like breakfast, I'm sure you will leave satisfied.

GREEK SOUVLAKI

I must be hungry because I keep listing restaurants, but this one is very worthy of a mention. The original location is on 3rd South and has some of the best Greek food around. I love the cheerful staff and the speed with which they prepare the tasty Gyros, rice, Souvlaki and fries for which they are so well known. There are other decent Greek places in Salt Lake, but this one is my favorite and the most consistent. Yassou!

Some Bests

I've been a bit busy this week, so you'll have to forgive my lack of blog posts. With that said, prepare to be amazed.

Here are some things/people that are the best in a particular category. This list is legally binding.

Best Jedi- Yoda

Best Bumper Sticker Slogan-
"If it's petty don't sweat it and if it's sweaty don't pet it."

Best Month- March

Best Fifth Beatle- Billy Preston

Best Police Academy Film- Police Academy 4: Citizens on Patrol

Best Entertaining Nerd- Ira Glass

Best Greek Food in Salt Lake- Greek Souvlaki

Best Beer in Salt Lake- Epic

Best Unelected President- Gerald Ford

Best Stand-up Comic- TIE- Patton Oswalt/Gallagher

Best Wife- Mine, duh!

Remember When?

Despite my best efforts to blot out certain memories, I do recall things. Here are some of my recollections.

Remember when Charlie Sheen was known for being seemingly talented (Wall Street, Major League, Platoon) and not for being a notorious sleaze?

Remember when I wrongly poo pooed shows like Dexter and Mad Men? I admit when I am wrong, and was on both counts.

Remember when the Utah Jazz were known as one of the most stable, consistent franchises in the league? Not anymore. Bye, Jerry and Deron.

Remember getting those wax tubes filled with that sweet, colored juice in your Easter basket, and then chewing on the flavored wax after you drank the juice? That was some good stuff.

Remember when NPR and PBS and other public broadcasting didn't have to fight to be funded? I'm sick about this and this everyone needs to fire off some calls and emails to the jerks in Washington who want to take away our All Things Considered and Sesame Street.

Remember when there weren't so many brands/types of gum to choose from? I go to the store now and there's so many kinds of gum in the checkout area that I get overwhelmed and need to sit down.

Remember when Saturday Night Live was funny? I do. It isn't now.

Titletown

Now that the smoke has cleared and I have had time to reflect, I am pleased to feature my team- Super Bowl XLV Champion Green Bay Packers on the blog. It was so much fun to see the Packers win the big game this year, especially in the wake of the last few mediocre years and the fact that the team suffered so many injuries to key players this season. It is a testament to the leaders and coaches of this team that they were able to overcome such huge obstacles to win football's biggest prize. At the heart of the Packers' triumphant group were quarterback Aaron Rodgers, cornerback Charles Woodson and linebacker Clay Matthews. These three men set a high standard, and instilled in their team a will to overcome any of the slew of obstacles that threatened their season.

The Packers became the first NFC six seed to win the Super Bowl, and only the second six seed in the history of the NFL. I am excited for the future of this team because they are the second youngest team in the league, and will hopefully be less injury prone next season (if there is one). The return of players like Jermichael Finley and Ryan Grant will undoubtedly help the Packers get back to the Super Bowl in the years to come. The legacy of this incarnation of the team has been cemented, and allowed every cheesehead to forget that other quarterback- Brent something.

The Last Game

I went to see my team, the Utah Jazz, play the Chicago Bulls last night. I don't get to that many games, so I was excited- especially to see my team take on former Jazz players, Carlos Boozer, Kyle Korver and Ronnie Brewer. The Jazz lost, and we left the arena simply thinking the team had lost another game. This afternoon I learned that the team had also lost its coach.

Jerry Sloan, the only man I have known as the coach of the Jazz, stepped down after 23 years with the team today. I am saddened by the sudden departure, and left to think about the fact that I just happened to be there on the night he coached his last game. The Jazz have had difficulties this year, but still had the cornerstones of a strong team- one of them being Coach Sloan. Now, the team must turn to an unproven, but determined coach, and the player and leader that many now blame for Sloan's abrupt exit. New coach Tyrone Corbin and point guard Deron Williams didn't know it was Sloan's last game, and now, ready or not they are the future of the Jazz. Williams and Sloan clashed in their time together, and perhaps there was something about that relationship that nudged Jerry out the door, but like many, I don't think anyone could push Jerry Sloan out, and I know that even if Williams is secretly happy- he couldn't foresee that last night was his coach's last game.

The last game of his career wasn't anything special, just another February NBA game, but it actually was a nice coda to Sloan's career. It was in Salt Lake, with a sellout crowd and against the team that has retired his number. Maybe Jerry was putting us on today when he stepped down, maybe he knew, unlike the rest of us that it would be the end. I doubt it, but whatever the truth behind it is we Jazz fans know that the last game came too soon, and that a coach like Jerry Sloan will not pass this way again.

Things I Think

Ever wonder what goes on in my brain? I knew you did.

I think we need to start calling 12:30 Midnight and a half and Noon and a half. Who's with me?

I think that we need to do more to celebrate Arbor Day.

I think that Duggar mom needs to stop having kids. The human body can only take so much, and I'll bet she's had about enough.

I think that James Franco and Anne Hathaway are a horrendous choice to host the Oscars. What happened to having someone funny or entertaining host? I guess they don't want people to enjoy the show anymore. I miss Billy Crystal.

I think if I had been an orphan I could have charmed a bald millionaire into adopting me and introduce me to the president.

I think Basmati rice is the best kind of rice.

I think Five Hour Energy needs to have a commercial where they show people who use it crashing hard when it wears off.

I think my laundry is done. Bye.

2010 In Review

2010 was a year that saw some big things happen for yours truly, let's review shall we?

I met film director, and my birthday buddy, Spike Lee.

I had the privilege of working as an intern at KUER for RadioWest with Doug Fabrizio. It was truly an enlightening experience and I learned a great deal from everyone at KUER, especially RadioWest's producer, Elaine Clark. (P.S. That's how I got to meet Spike Lee)

My wife surprised me with tickets to see one of my all-time idols- Paul McCartney. He was in The Beatles.

We took a trip to Napa Valley with friends. It was a great trip and I learned a lot of wine factoids. For example, did you know that wine is made from grapes?

After almost a year of not having full-time employment, I got a job. A real big boy job.

I ate a really good dill pickle.

The dog and I built a fort.

I taught little kid P.E. for a brief period in the Spring. I discovered that my skills at corralling first graders still need developing.

We took our annual trip to the Utah State Fair. I ate a bunch of fried stuff on a stick and rode the Tilt-A-Whirl.

Mary Anne and I celebrated our fourth anniversary.

That about does it. Let's hope that 2011 has as much awesomeness in it as 2010 did.

Do Ask, Do Tell

I, for one, am glad that the Senate voted to repeal 'Don't Ask Don't Tell' today, allowing gays to serve openly in the military. The argument that many are making in favor of the repeal is that anyone willing to serve, and potentially die for our country deserves the dignity and respect of everyone, regardless of their sexual orientation, and should be allowed to serve openly as a gay man or woman. I agree with this logic, but I hope that this act is only the first step in a long line of measures that grant homosexuals more equality in this country.

We live in a world where people have been marginalized and discriminated against to the point of extermination. While many seem to think that we are in some post-modern wonderland where prejudice is a faint memory that only rears its head when a new film about the Holocaust is made, I say that we need to reexamine why something like 'Don't Ask Don't Tell' took so long to repeal. Anytime something like this comes up for debate, people who are afraid of what change might bring forget about the effect it has on the group being discriminated against. Many have trouble thinking about what it would be like if they had to deny who they are, and keep it a secret for fear of what might happen if others found out.

As a straight, white, well educated male I am never asked to not be who I am, or given a back seat because of my race, sex or orientation, but I know those who are. Everyone does, whether they want to admit it or not, and I cannot say what something like this act by Congress does for a group of people who yearn to be treated like everyone else. I see this as a good step in the right direction, but I hope that those in power will not be content with this one act. There is still work to be done.

A Hero

One of my great heroes is a man who made as big an impact on the world as any musician ever has. He changed what it meant to be a star, an activist and a rock and roller. John Lennon was one of a kind. From his humble beginnings in Liverpool to his time with The Beatles and after, John Lennon was an innovator in the field of music and art.

I first took notice of John Lennon in middle school when I went mad for The Beatles. Everything became about John, Paul, George and Ringo for me. I wanted to wear my hair like them, I spent hours each day in my room listening to their music and studying them, I even wore round glasses like John's. I admire so much his talent, his songs and his message of peace and love. While I outgrew my hardcore Beatles obsession, I never outgrew the music. I still listen to their music all the time and read about them on occasion. The Beatles, like John Lennon were a phenomenon that can never be forgotten.

Thirty years ago today, we lost John Lennon. I wasn't even born yet, but I still feel the loss that so many of his fans felt that day. While we have had to go without new songs, inspiring words, and a complete Beatles reunion in the time since 1980, his is an enduring legacy that will always live on. I am grateful for the rich catalogue of work that we have to look back on, and for the way he inspired so many to imagine a better world.

Worst Sports Franchises

There are certain teams in every sport that never cease to make terrible choices and are perennial bottom feeders. Here now, are three of the worst.

WORST FRANCHISES

L.A. Clippers

These guys could screw up a cup of coffee. Year after year the Clippers fail to even attempt to come close to dethroning the Lakers as L.A.'s favorite team. As far back as I can remember they have been losers and laughingstocks. They continually fail to keep good players and make huge mistakes with who they bring in as free agents. Blake Griffin is a legit star, but knowing the Clippers, they will find a way to lose him too.

Detroit Lions

I feel bad for Lions fans. They are forced to live in a city that has been deeply affected by the bad economy, and then to escape the hardships they have to go watch the only team to ever go 0-16 in NFL history. Trying to overcome the culture of losing is tough, but the current management seems to be on the right track. Let's hope they can do it and get the Lions of this list.


Pittsburgh Pirates

I don't even watch baseball, but I know enough to know that this team stinks, and has for along time. Even when it seems like they have a good team and some momentum, the front office dumps their good players and sends the team back to the MLB cellar. Good thing that the citizens of Pittsburgh have the Penguins and Steelers to root for.