This week,
RETURN OF THE JEDI (1983)
Starring- Mark Hamill, Harrison Ford, Carrie Fisher, Billy Dee Williams
Alright, my little Ewoks, I am going Star Wars on you for this week's movie. Thankfully, George Lucas had not yet become the world's greatest ruiner when he penned the final chapter in the Star Wars saga. Picking up where The Empire Strikes Back leaves off, Jedi reunites us with Luke and Co. as they try to rescue Han Solo (still frozen) from Jabba The Hutt back on Tatooine. Once they get Han back, (sorry if that spoiled anything) the story then turns to Luke's struggle to defeat Darth "Papa" Vader and the Emperor, while the rebels make a last ditch attempt to take out the new Death Star.
Rather than boring you with details from a movie that we all know so well, I will do what I did last time and give you my Top Ten favorite things about Episode VI.
10. Yoda's death. Sad and moving at the same time, but one wonders if he had been able to tell Luke more stuff before he died if he didn't say "Luke" at the start of every sentence. Think about it.
9. Nub Nub- the best Ewok song that is sadly cut out of the Special Edition. Thanks a lot, Lucas.
8. The Speeder Chase in the forest. Really ahead of its time and quite exciting.
7. The Max Rebo Band- outside of the Cantina Band they are Tatooine's most popular and highest rated music group. I smell a Grammy coming for Sy Snoodles.
6. Sarlak. If you had to live in a giant anus in the desert you'd be cranky too.
5. Force Lightning. It's so cool that you almost wish the Emperor got to finish frying Luke with it.
4. Admiral Ackbar's ability to sense a trap.
3. Just so you know I'm not going to put Ewoks on this list because they suck. I'm even going to waste this spot just to say how lame they are.
2. The fat, dirty guy with man boobs who lives down in the Rancor pit.
1. Slave Leia. Every nerd's greatest fantasy and the hottest space chick until that girl with three boobs from Total Recall came along.
That's the list. May the Force be with you.
Things to watch for-
Salacious Crumb
A young Warwick Davis (Willow) as Wicket the Ewok
Rebel Scum
Darth Vader is really an old white guy
"The Emperor is not as forgiving as I am."