BILL AND GIULIANA RANCIC
These two Schmohawks are famous for God knows what and they have a show on the T.V. I know a lot of losers have T.V. shows, but these two get Schmohawk status because they are so insufferable when they talk to each other. Their whole relationship seems awkward and wooden and it sounds like the stuff they say to each other is being read off of cue cards. Next time two obscure Schmohawks are given a show, make sure they are more interesting and sincere than the Rancics.
OHIO STATE FOOTBALL
Some Schmohawks from the Ohio State Football team, including star QB Torelle Pryor, traded autographs for tattoos in a clear violation of NCAA rules. I'm not at all sad for these guys, mostly because Ohio State is one of the most overrated programs, and their fans are almost as smug as the Schmohawks at USC and Notre Dame. Schmohawkery earned those boys a five game suspension. By the way, what kind of a mascot is a Buckeye, anyway?
MARK WAHLBERG
This guy has been and always will be the archetypal Schmohawk. Let's count the ways, he was an underpants showing white rapper, he has no sense of humor about himself, he thinks he's a huge badass, and now that his new movie The Fighter is gaining critical acclaim he'll be even more self absorbed than before. I wish there was a way to get this Schmohawk out of the public eye for good. Scandal anyone?